2024 auction recap

Team D

kdewall05 · Balanced

B-

Team D remains allergic to extra syllables and spent the savings on Christian McCaffrey for $79, the D being for draft, also denial. Christian McCaffrey for $79 ate 40 percent of Team D's budget, and the rest of that lineup is a gift shop attached to a statue. Sunday will arrive for Team D, and the apology is already in draft form.

Team Fantasm

jobcojim · Balanced

C-

Team Fantasm appeared long enough to buy Bijan Robinson for $75, then left a cold spot where a bench used to be. Team Fantasm spent quarterback money twice (Kyler Murray, Jayden Daniels) like the position was going out of stock. Team Fantasm collected 2 wideouts and called it a room, so Calvin Ridley will now be asked to be three people. Team Fantasm will mention the value until the value has to play.

Bud Light Berto

Bud Light Berto · Studs and duds

B-

Bud Light Berto is a 12-pack with Breece Hall for $70 taped to the side and a lineup that still has to survive last call. Bud Light Berto put $138 on Breece Hall and Tyreek Hill, then asked the dollar bin to block. Bud Light Berto maxed the $200, which is still broke when the bye weeks hit. Bud Light Berto gave confidence a budget and depth a shrug.

Team Name TBD

5674petersm · Hero RB

B

Team Name TBD still has a placeholder for a name and a finished invoice for Justin Jefferson for $67, because branding can wait and delusion cannot. Team Name TBD collected 6 dollar players, which is not depth so much as a clearance rack with hope in the pockets. Garrett Wilson cost Team Name TBD $51 against a $19 sticker, the convenience fee for winning the room. Team Name TBD will have the group chat defending this until week four, then it becomes a documentary.

Bye Week

aaron.r.schulte@gmail.com · Hero RB

C+

Bye Week bought Jonathan Taylor for $66 on a night they branded as time off, the bye being the personality and the receipt being the alibi. Bye Week bought Josh Allen and Jordan Love, two answers to a question that did not need a sequel. Bye Week hit $0 leftover, which is a flex until somebody gets hurt. The standings have not opened yet, and Bye Week already has a caption ready.

Lamb Slaughterhouse

ESPNFAN1783567051 · Balanced

C-

Lamb Slaughterhouse kept the warehouse lights on and paid for CeeDee Lamb for $65, processing hope still being a night job. Lamb Slaughterhouse let autodraft finish 3 picks, including Dolphins D/ST, because the machine does not love you, it just has a queue. Lamb Slaughterhouse left the auction without a quarterback, which is a choice, and also a cry for help with better lighting. Lamb Slaughterhouse did not draft to feel normal, they overshot the assignment.

Barn Burners

Ad_Noll · Balanced

B+

Barn Burners promised fire and paid for Saquon Barkley for $62, some weeks a bonfire and some weeks a damp hay bale and a text. Barn Burners is hoping streaming is a personality after paying $2 for Brock Bowers. Barn Burners did not purchase a plan B, so plan B is the waiver wire with opinions.

Team Randy

stark lake · Balanced

C-

Team Randy skipped the slogan and went straight to Amon-Ra St. Brown for $61, subtlety not being in the auction, and neither were they. Team Randy has no tight end, so the position is a rumor they will try to start anyway. Team Randy autodrafted Unknown for $1, and even the robot sounded tired. If effort were points, Team Randy would still need a shootout.

Send Help

espnfan5899897207 · Hero RB

A

Send Help spent real money on Derrick Henry for $59 and kept the distress call as a team name, which means the SOS was not a bit, it was a preview. Send Help paid $59 for Derrick Henry on a $37 board and called it competing. ESPN had Derrick Henry at $37; Send Help heard a dare and said $59. Send Help remains undefeated in hypotheticals and fully clothed in receipts.

Even the Losers

rkstocke5609@comcast.net · Hero WR

B+

Even the Losers put the Tom Petty paperwork on A.J. Brown for $58 and waited for the chorus to do the blocking. Even the Losers got Brock Purdy at $2, which is either smash or a public bet that streaming is a personality. Even the Losers got Brian Robinson Jr. at $5 under a $23 tag and will still find a way to make it sound like a struggle. File Even the Losers under expensive certainty, complimentary chaos.

The Hitmen

hamby99 · Balanced

C-

The Hitmen sent the house after Ja'Marr Chase for $58, intimidation looking great in a jacket while the invoice still has to score. The Hitmen paid $1 for Tua Tagovailoa and will talk about value until the bye week files a complaint. The Hitmen is one injury report on Tua Tagovailoa ($1) away from a TED Talk titled "we liked the upside." The Hitmen bought a ceiling and forgot the floor takes mail.

Mediocre Bacon Slinger

HadleyBall75 · Balanced shop

C-

Mediocre Bacon Slinger slung James Cook for $37 like a diner special: grease, hope, and a ticket that still has to get called on Sunday. Mediocre Bacon Slinger's running back room is James Cook and Travis Etienne Jr., which is one turf toe from a philosophical crisis. Mediocre Bacon Slinger spent every last dollar and still looks underinsured. Mediocre Bacon Slinger wanted a dynasty look and got a group-chat argument with a logo.