2020 auction recap

Did you CeeDee'z?

SMOKIE-OKIE · Hero RB

B-

Did you CeeDee'z? treated the auction like a talent show and Christian McCaffrey for $85 like the only act that rehearsed. Did you CeeDee'z? collected 5 dollar players, which is not depth so much as a clearance rack with hope in the pockets. Christian McCaffrey for $85 ate 43 percent of Did you CeeDee'z?'s budget, and the rest of that lineup is a gift shop attached to a statue. Did you CeeDee'z? remains undefeated in hypotheticals and fully clothed in receipts.

Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs

Derek_Limesand · Balanced

B

Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs put Unknown for $72 on the credit card and called it process, process being what you say when you do not have depth. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs is one injury report on Matt Ryan ($1) away from a TED Talk titled "we liked the upside." Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs spent like a champion and built like a committee that lost the agenda.

Team Randy

stark lake · Studs and duds

C

Team Randy skipped the slogan and went straight to Ezekiel Elliott for $71, subtlety not being in the auction, and neither were they. Team Randy paid $2 for Harrison Butker before the room had even finished pretending to be serious. Team Randy left the auction without a quarterback, which is a choice, and also a cry for help with better lighting. Team Randy will be due forever, which is cheaper than a second running back.

The Hitmen

AJL478 · Hero RB

B

The Hitmen sent the house after Derrick Henry for $65, intimidation looking great in a jacket while the invoice still has to score. The Hitmen paid hero money for Derrick Henry, then made Raheem Mostert at $16 the entire contingency. The Hitmen is hoping streaming is a personality after paying $2 for Hayden Hurst. The Hitmen looks like a process if you mute the dollar amounts.

The Seel Is Broken

5674petersm · Studs and duds

C+

The Seel Is Broken used Dalvin Cook for $65 as a personality and the rest of the roster as set dressing. The Seel Is Broken dropped 33 percent of the night on Dalvin Cook, which is a monument with a prayer taped to the base. The Seel Is Broken put $128 on Dalvin Cook and Alvin Kamara, then asked the dollar bin to block. The Seel Is Broken will have the group chat defending this until week four, then it becomes a documentary.

Even the Losers

rkstocke5609@comcast.net · Balanced

B

Even the Losers put the Tom Petty paperwork on Unknown for $62 and waited for the chorus to do the blocking. Even the Losers paid $1 for Josh Allen and will talk about value until the bye week files a complaint. Even the Losers got Josh Allen at $1, which is either smash or a public bet that streaming is a personality. Even the Losers will confuse a good night in the room with a good season until October.

Bud Light Berto

Bud Light Berto · Balanced

C+

Bud Light Berto is a 12-pack with Josh Jacobs for $54 taped to the side and a lineup that still has to survive last call. Bud Light Berto's ceiling is a rumor they can pronounce, and the floor already has their name on the lease.

Bye Week

aaron.r.schulte@gmail.com · Balanced

B-

Bye Week bought Nick Chubb for $48 on a night they branded as time off, the bye being the personality and the receipt being the alibi. Bye Week autodrafted Unknown for $1, and even the robot sounded tired. Bye Week maxed the $200, which is still broke when the bye weeks hit. The standings have not opened yet, and Bye Week already has a caption ready.

Mediocre Bacon Slinger

HadleyBall75 · Hero RB

B-

Mediocre Bacon Slinger slung Joe Mixon for $48 like a diner special: grease, hope, and a ticket that still has to get called on Sunday. Mediocre Bacon Slinger hit $0 leftover, which is a flex until somebody gets hurt. Mediocre Bacon Slinger spent every last dollar and still looks underinsured. Mediocre Bacon Slinger wanted a dynasty look and got a group-chat argument with a logo.

Mourning Mayfield

ESPNFAN4802032095 · Zero RB

B

Mourning Mayfield bought Tyreek Hill for $47 the way people buy a gym membership in January: loudly, and with a speech nobody requested. Mourning Mayfield paid $32 for George Kittle, which is tight end money that used to buy a running back and a personality. Mourning Mayfield rostered Aaron Rodgers plus Baker Mayfield because they do not trust the first one, the schedule, or themselves. The injury report is not a strategy, and Mourning Mayfield highlighted it anyway.

Team Fantasm

jobcojim · Hero RB

C+

Team Fantasm appeared long enough to buy Miles Sanders for $46, then left a cold spot where a bench used to be. Team Fantasm's running back room is Miles Sanders and Ronald Jones II, which is one turf toe from a philosophical crisis. Team Fantasm has no tight end, so the position is a rumor they will try to start anyway. Team Fantasm will turn week one into a press conference and week six into group-chat silence.

Mr Unlimited

01janson86 · Balanced shop

B

Mr Unlimited drafted Chris Carson for $37 as if confidence were a position, and confidence still has to line up on Sunday. Mr Unlimited has a star, and stars still miss byes, and so will the speech.