2021 auction recap

Team Fantasm

jobcojim · Studs and duds

B+

Team Fantasm appeared long enough to buy Derrick Henry for $75, then left a cold spot where a bench used to be. Team Fantasm paid starter-WR money for Patrick Mahomes, so the passing game is solved and the rest of the roster is in committee. Team Fantasm put $131 on Derrick Henry and Travis Kelce, then asked the dollar bin to block. Team Fantasm will be due forever, which is cheaper than a second running back.

The Seel Is Broken

5674petersm · Studs and duds

B

The Seel Is Broken nominated themselves for luck and then spent real money on Dalvin Cook for $75, luck not having RSVP'd. The Seel Is Broken paid $1 for Jalen Hurts and will talk about value until the bye week files a complaint. The Seel Is Broken dropped 38 percent of the night on Dalvin Cook, which is a monument with a prayer taped to the base. The Seel Is Broken gave confidence a budget and depth a shrug.

Mediocre Bacon Slinger

HadleyBall75 · Hero RB

B

Mediocre Bacon Slinger slung Christian McCaffrey for $74 like a diner special: grease, hope, and a ticket that still has to get called on Sunday. Mediocre Bacon Slinger hit $0 leftover, which is a flex until somebody gets hurt. Mediocre Bacon Slinger maxed the $200, which is still broke when the bye weeks hit. Mediocre Bacon Slinger bought a ceiling and forgot the floor takes mail.

Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs

Derek_Limesand · Balanced

C+

Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs used Alvin Kamara for $70 as a personality and the rest of the roster as set dressing. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs collected 8 dollar players, which is not depth so much as a clearance rack with hope in the pockets. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs is hoping streaming is a personality after paying $1 for Rob Gronkowski. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs remains undefeated in hypotheticals and fully clothed in receipts.

Physical Therapy Needed

01janson86 · Balanced

B-

Physical Therapy Needed arrived with vibes and left with Jonathan Taylor for $65, only one of those hitting the box score. Physical Therapy Needed collected 2 wideouts and called it a room, so Julio Jones will now be asked to be three people. Jonathan Taylor for $65 ate 33 percent of Physical Therapy Needed's budget, and the rest of that lineup is a gift shop attached to a statue. The injury report is not a strategy, and Physical Therapy Needed highlighted it anyway.

Bud Light Berto

Bud Light Berto · Hero RB

B

Bud Light Berto is a 12-pack with Ezekiel Elliott for $63 taped to the side and a lineup that still has to survive last call. Bud Light Berto paid hero money for Ezekiel Elliott, then made Chase Edmonds at $15 the entire contingency. Bud Light Berto left $6 unspent, which is not enough to fix the roster and plenty enough to regret in silence. Bud Light Berto will have the group chat defending this until week four, then it becomes a documentary.

Team Nolltron

Ad_Noll · Balanced

B-

Team Nolltron made Saquon Barkley for $63 the whole personality, which is a lot of pressure to put on one invoice. Team Nolltron bought Lamar Jackson and Tom Brady, two answers to a question that did not need a sequel. Team Nolltron rostered Lamar Jackson plus Tom Brady because they do not trust the first one, the schedule, or themselves. Team Nolltron will confuse a good night in the room with a good season until October.

Bye Week

aaron.r.schulte@gmail.com · Balanced

B-

Bye Week bought Nick Chubb for $59 on a night they branded as time off, the bye being the personality and the receipt being the alibi. Bye Week spent every last dollar and still looks underinsured. Bye Week autodrafted Unknown for $1, and even the robot sounded tired. File Bye Week under expensive certainty, complimentary chaos.

Michelob Ultra Peterson

pedr0601 · Hero RB

B-

Michelob Ultra Peterson bought Najee Harris for $57 the way people buy a gym membership in January: loudly, and with a speech nobody requested. Michelob Ultra Peterson's running back room is Najee Harris and Javonte Williams, which is one turf toe from a philosophical crisis. Michelob Ultra Peterson paid $39 for Darren Waller, which is tight end money that used to buy a running back and a personality. Michelob Ultra Peterson did not draft to feel normal, they overshot the assignment.

The Hitmen

hamby99 · Balanced

B

The Hitmen sent the house after Aaron Jones for $57, intimidation looking great in a jacket while the invoice still has to score. The Hitmen has no tight end, so the position is a rumor they will try to start anyway. The Hitmen wanted a dynasty look and got a group-chat argument with a logo.

Team Randy

stark lake · Balanced

B-

Team Randy skipped the slogan and went straight to Austin Ekeler for $51, subtlety not being in the auction, and neither were they. Team Randy maxed the night and still looks one hamstring away from a TED Talk.

Even the Losers

rkstocke5609@comcast.net · Balanced shop

B-

Even the Losers put the Tom Petty paperwork on Unknown for $29 and waited for the chorus to do the blocking. Even the Losers paid $2 for Harrison Butker before the room had even finished pretending to be serious. Even the Losers got Aaron Rodgers at $2, which is either smash or a public bet that streaming is a personality. The standings have not opened yet, and Even the Losers already has a caption ready.