2022 auction recap

Bye Week

aaron.r.schulte@gmail.com · Balanced

B

Bye Week bought Jonathan Taylor for $75 on a night they branded as time off, the bye being the personality and the receipt being the alibi. Bye Week paid $1 for Harrison Butker before the room had even finished pretending to be serious. Jonathan Taylor for $75 ate 38 percent of Bye Week's budget, and the rest of that lineup is a gift shop attached to a statue. The standings have not opened yet, and Bye Week already has a caption ready.

Barn Burners

Ad_Noll · Balanced

B

Barn Burners promised fire and paid for Najee Harris for $67, some weeks a bonfire and some weeks a damp hay bale and a text. Barn Burners bought Lamar Jackson and Jalen Hurts, two answers to a question that did not need a sequel. Barn Burners spent quarterback money twice (Lamar Jackson, Jalen Hurts) like the position was going out of stock. Barn Burners did not purchase a plan B, so plan B is the waiver wire with opinions.

Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs

Derek_Limesand · Studs and duds

B-

Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs nominated themselves for luck and then spent real money on Derrick Henry for $67, luck not having RSVP'd. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs put $131 on Derrick Henry and Christian McCaffrey, then asked the dollar bin to block. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs collected 6 dollar players, which is not depth so much as a clearance rack with hope in the pockets. Uncle Ricos '82 State Champs did not draft to feel normal, they overshot the assignment.

Send Help

espnfan5899897207 · Hero RB

B-

Send Help spent real money on Dalvin Cook for $65 and kept the distress call as a team name, which means the SOS was not a bit, it was a preview. Send Help paid hero money for Dalvin Cook, then made Tony Pollard at $11 the entire contingency. Send Help hit $0 leftover, which is a flex until somebody gets hurt. Send Help remains undefeated in hypotheticals and fully clothed in receipts.

Even the Losers

rkstocke5609@comcast.net · Balanced

B-

Even the Losers put the Tom Petty paperwork on Justin Jefferson for $62 and waited for the chorus to do the blocking. Even the Losers is hoping streaming is a personality after paying $1 for Mike Gesicki. Even the Losers was in on Bills D/ST at nomination 4, a defense that early being a bit that got out of the group chat. File Even the Losers under expensive certainty, complimentary chaos.

Team Fantasm

jobcojim · Balanced

B

Team Fantasm appeared long enough to buy Joe Mixon for $62, then left a cold spot where a bench used to be. Team Fantasm paid $2 for Kirk Cousins and will talk about value until the bye week files a complaint. Team Fantasm will mention the value until the value has to play.

Bud Light Berto

Bud Light Berto · Balanced

B

Bud Light Berto is a 12-pack with Cooper Kupp for $60 taped to the side and a lineup that still has to survive last call. Bud Light Berto gave confidence a budget and depth a shrug.

Greener Pastures

5674petersm · Balanced

B

Greener Pastures arrived with vibes and left with Austin Ekeler for $58, only one of those hitting the box score. Greener Pastures is one injury report on Trevor Lawrence ($1) away from a TED Talk titled "we liked the upside." Greener Pastures got Trevor Lawrence at $1, which is either smash or a public bet that streaming is a personality. Greener Pastures will have the group chat defending this until week four, then it becomes a documentary.

Pitts of Despair

01janson86 · Balanced

B-

Pitts of Despair made Davante Adams for $58 the whole personality, which is a lot of pressure to put on one invoice. Pitts of Despair collected 2 wideouts and called it a room, so Davante Adams will now be asked to be three people. Pitts of Despair autodrafted Unknown for $1, and even the robot sounded tired. Sunday will arrive for Pitts of Despair, and the apology is already in draft form.

Mediocre Bacon Slinger

HadleyBall75 · Balanced

B-

Mediocre Bacon Slinger slung Unknown for $47 like a diner special: grease, hope, and a ticket that still has to get called on Sunday. Mediocre Bacon Slinger spent every last dollar and still looks underinsured. Mediocre Bacon Slinger paid $38 for Travis Kelce, which is tight end money that used to buy a running back and a personality. Mediocre Bacon Slinger wanted a dynasty look and got a group-chat argument with a logo.

Team Randy

stark lake · Balanced

B

Team Randy skipped the slogan and went straight to D'Andre Swift for $43, subtlety not being in the auction, and neither were they. Team Randy left $5 unspent, which is not enough to fix the roster and plenty enough to regret in silence. If effort were points, Team Randy would still need a shootout.

The Hitmen

hamby99 · Balanced

C+

The Hitmen sent the house after Deebo Samuel for $42, intimidation looking great in a jacket while the invoice still has to score. The Hitmen left the auction without a quarterback, which is a choice, and also a cry for help with better lighting. The Hitmen maxed the $200, which is still broke when the bye weeks hit. The Hitmen bought a ceiling and forgot the floor takes mail.