2026 auction recap

Bud Light Berto

Bud Light Berto · Hero RB

B+

Bud Light Berto is a 12-pack with Jahmyr Gibbs for $73 taped to the side and a lineup that still has to survive last call. Bud Light Berto left $4 unspent, which is not enough to fix the roster and plenty enough to regret in silence. Bud Light Berto dropped 37 percent of the night on Jahmyr Gibbs, which is a monument with a prayer taped to the base. Bud Light Berto gave confidence a budget and depth a shrug.

Team Fantasm

jobcojim · Studs and duds

B-

Team Fantasm appeared long enough to buy Bijan Robinson for $70, then left a cold spot where a bench used to be. Team Fantasm let autodraft finish 4 picks, including Jakobi Meyers, because the machine does not love you, it just has a queue. Team Fantasm put $137 on Bijan Robinson and Jonathan Taylor, then asked the dollar bin to block. Team Fantasm will mention the value until the value has to play.

Team Randy

stark lake · Balanced

B-

Team Randy skipped the slogan and went straight to Ja'Marr Chase for $67, subtlety not being in the auction, and neither were they. ESPN had Cam Skattebo at $17; Team Randy heard a dare and said $32. Team Randy got Colston Loveland at $9 under a $19 tag and will still find a way to make it sound like a struggle. If effort were points, Team Randy would still need a shootout.

Njigbas with attitude

5674petersm · Hero WR

B-

Njigbas with attitude named the franchise after a wideout and then had to afford Jaxon Smith-Njigba for $62, attitude being free and targets not. Njigbas with attitude paid $62 for Jaxon Smith-Njigba on a $53 board and called it competing. Njigbas with attitude has no tight end, so the position is a rumor they will try to start anyway. Njigbas with attitude will have the group chat defending this until week four, then it becomes a documentary.

Bye Week

aaron.r.schulte@gmail.com · Balanced

B+

Bye Week bought Christian McCaffrey for $61 on a night they branded as time off, the bye being the personality and the receipt being the alibi. Bye Week spent quarterback money twice (Kyler Murray, Tyler Shough) like the position was going out of stock. Kenneth Walker III cost Bye Week $44 against a $29 sticker, the convenience fee for winning the room. The standings have not opened yet, and Bye Week already has a caption ready.

Mediocre Bacon Slinger

HadleyBall75 · Balanced

A

Mediocre Bacon Slinger slung Puka Nacua for $60 like a diner special: grease, hope, and a ticket that still has to get called on Sunday. Mediocre Bacon Slinger hit $0 leftover, which is a flex until somebody gets hurt. Mediocre Bacon Slinger was in on Broncos D/ST at nomination 1, a defense that early being a bit that got out of the group chat. Mediocre Bacon Slinger wanted a dynasty look and got a group-chat argument with a logo.

Send Help

espnfan5899897207 · Balanced

B

Send Help spent real money on Amon-Ra St. Brown for $60 and kept the distress call as a team name, which means the SOS was not a bit, it was a preview. Send Help collected 5 dollar players, which is not depth so much as a clearance rack with hope in the pockets. Send Help rostered Lamar Jackson plus Patrick Mahomes because they do not trust the first one, the schedule, or themselves. Send Help remains undefeated in hypotheticals and fully clothed in receipts.

The Hitmen

hamby99 · Balanced

B

The Hitmen sent the house after Justin Jefferson for $57, intimidation looking great in a jacket while the invoice still has to score. The Hitmen maxed the $200, which is still broke when the bye weeks hit. The Hitmen spent every last dollar and still looks underinsured. The Hitmen bought a ceiling and forgot the floor takes mail.

Team D

kdewall05 · Balanced

B

Team D remains allergic to extra syllables and spent the savings on Saquon Barkley for $56, the D being for draft, also denial. Team D paid $4 for Brandon Aubrey before the room had even finished pretending to be serious. Sunday will arrive for Team D, and the apology is already in draft form.

What is Love

Ad_Noll · Balanced

B+

What is Love asked the room a question and answered it with Derrick Henry for $56. Baby don't hurt me. The budget already did. What is Love paid $1 for Baker Mayfield and will talk about value until the bye week files a complaint. What is Love is one injury report on Baker Mayfield ($1) away from a TED Talk titled "we liked the upside." What is Love did not purchase a plan B, so plan B is the waiver wire with opinions.

Lamb Slaughterhouse

ESPNFAN1783567051 · Hero RB

A-

Lamb Slaughterhouse kept the warehouse lights on and paid for James Cook III for $54, processing hope still being a night job. Lamb Slaughterhouse bought Josh Allen and Jalen Hurts, two answers to a question that did not need a sequel. Lamb Slaughterhouse paid $31 for Trey McBride, which is tight end money that used to buy a running back and a personality. Lamb Slaughterhouse did not draft to feel normal, they overshot the assignment.

Even the Losers

rkstocke5609@comcast.net · Hero RB

C-

Even the Losers put the Tom Petty paperwork on Unknown for $53 and waited for the chorus to do the blocking. Even the Losers's running back room is Ashton Jeanty and Chuba Hubbard, which is one turf toe from a philosophical crisis. Even the Losers paid hero money for Ashton Jeanty, then made Chuba Hubbard at $1 the entire contingency. File Even the Losers under expensive certainty, complimentary chaos.